She successfully got around the rioting crowds and the insanity and finally made it! It wasn’t easy, but she was used to slipping past angry liberals and violent protestors, and it was only a matter of time before she reached safety. That’s what she kept telling herself, and she was right, as usual. She madeContinue reading “To Our Last Breath”
Author Archives: brianhelgerson
Little Kitty
He’s a little kitty Short and gray! He makes the kiddies Run away! When he brings his bitty fangs Out to play, He nips their legs And runs away!
Prodigy
They said I was a child prodigy. At age three, I could mix any chemicals together and get a specific result. Whatever I wanted, I could make. If I wanted green, I could make it. If I wanted bubbly, I could make that, too. If I wanted bang, it wasn’t outside of my reach. And,Continue reading “Prodigy”
Getting in Touch with My Evil Self (Part 1)
The phone rang, and one glance at the caller ID told me it was her, again. I watched the phone for a little while as it rang patiently, then just before the service picked up, I took a breath and answered. “Hello?” I queried, pretending to not know who was on the line. It wasContinue reading “Getting in Touch with My Evil Self (Part 1)”
You Shall Not Pass!
It was a cute little thing, I have to admit. Standing there upright like a little man, its forelimbs spread out in an attempt to block my passage. Its right paw clutched a little straight stick like a staff, and its bushy tail swept over its hind legs like a cloak. And, was that aContinue reading “You Shall Not Pass!”
Paranoid
“I’m not paranoid!” Neil snapped, annoyed at the man walking next to him. “I know what you’re thinking, and I don’t care! Does that sound paranoid to you?” His companion kept his opinion to himself and kept going. He was the epitomy of long-suffering patience, his once square jaw gone rounded and his temples gray.Continue reading “Paranoid”
How Many Words?
How many words is five thousand, anyway? What does that even look like? How many pages? How many paragraphs? How many sentences? What does five thousand words look like? They said it had to be five thousand words long. That’s why I wonder. Five thousand. What does five thousand of anything look like? What’s fiveContinue reading “How Many Words?”
What if?
The misshapen slug of steel lay untouched on the table, a terrifying monster more likely to kill me then anyone I pointed it at. I hated it, hated what it meant about me, what it meant about the world, but mostly about what it meant about me. Was I that scared? That terrified? What theContinue reading “What if?”
Excerpt from “My Fantastic Life” by President Donald J. Trump: An Autobiography written by the 45th President of the United Staits, Donald J. Trump
Everyone cheered when I came out on the balcony and waved. It was the biggest gathering on the south lawn since my fantastic inauguration, which was huge and had more people at it than any other inauguration in the history of the united shtaitches. Even Barack Obama didn’t get more people than that, ever. ItContinue reading “Excerpt from “My Fantastic Life” by President Donald J. Trump: An Autobiography written by the 45th President of the United Staits, Donald J. Trump”
For Want of a Cat (Part 2)
“When you leave here tonight,” she continued, “If you don’t stop at the shelter on the way, you’ll go home to a cold house. Gladys will avoid any contact with you, your children will ignore you, and you will sleep alone in your den again.” The emotionlessly clinical way she said it, as if sheContinue reading “For Want of a Cat (Part 2)”
Tales of a Tired Daddy 