“It’s called a what, now?” I still didn’t understand what she’d told me despite the entire knowledge of Ship’s memory banks behind me. “A Zero Room,” Interface dutifully replied, but I could tell that I was annoying her. I’d taken way too many opportunities to demonstrate my ignorance. “And no time exists in there?” IContinue reading “Zero Point Emissions”
Tag Archives: comedy
Afterwards
I woke up flat on my back staring at a slew of blue swirlie-cues, which turned out to be the ceiling. After that revelation sank in, I took a look around before doing anything else. Nope. It wasn’t all just a freakish nightmare. The weird furniture was still there, as well as the high-tech mushroom,Continue reading “Afterwards”
The End
“Aha!” I burst into the console room, yelling to grab the dinosaur’s attention. He turned away from the console in surprise, immediately leveling his pistol at me, and I voluntarily stopped dead in my tracks. My plan had worked a little too well. “How did you -?” he spluttered before shaking his head violently andContinue reading “The End”
Escapade
I couldn’t do anything, of course, until I escaped from that closet. I tried the door, but the knob wouldn’t turn. “Locked?” I couldn’t believe it. “Really? Who locks a closet? Who even has a lock on their closet?” I turned my back on the offending door and my eyes toward the ceiling to addressContinue reading “Escapade”
Awareness
What is the moment when we first become self-aware? When we realize that we are individuals with our own thoughts and feelings? Where do our memories even begin? My first memory was when I was four or five, watching Star Trek and waiting for my brother to come home from school. At least, that’s whatContinue reading “Awareness”
Tree
I thought it was just an ordinary tree. It wasn’t very tall. Just a fair-sized tree, great for sitting under to get out of the sun, or for hiding behind, which is what I thought the instant I saw it. They wouldn’t find me there, at least not right away, or maybe not at all.Continue reading “Tree”
Little Kitty
He’s a little kitty Short and gray! He makes the kiddies Run away! When he brings his bitty fangs Out to play, He nips their legs And runs away!
Prodigy
They said I was a child prodigy. At age three, I could mix any chemicals together and get a specific result. Whatever I wanted, I could make. If I wanted green, I could make it. If I wanted bubbly, I could make that, too. If I wanted bang, it wasn’t outside of my reach. And,Continue reading “Prodigy”
Excerpt from “My Fantastic Life” by President Donald J. Trump: An Autobiography written by the 45th President of the United Staits, Donald J. Trump
Everyone cheered when I came out on the balcony and waved. It was the biggest gathering on the south lawn since my fantastic inauguration, which was huge and had more people at it than any other inauguration in the history of the united shtaitches. Even Barack Obama didn’t get more people than that, ever. ItContinue reading “Excerpt from “My Fantastic Life” by President Donald J. Trump: An Autobiography written by the 45th President of the United Staits, Donald J. Trump”
