“Come here!”
Since the Saurian’s gun was still leveled at me, I couldn’t find any excuse to decline the invitation, but I approached warily, just in case they just wanted to shoot me at close range. Luckily, they held their fire even after I was practically right next to them.
“Now what?” My question fell on deaf ears. They ignored me and pulled a small box the size of a Star Trek communicator from their belt and pressed a large red button with their… I guess their thumb, I suppose. The air began to ripple around us.
“Where are you taking him?” That was me, making the demand from the relative safety of my office. I wasn’t sure how he knew that the Saurian was taking me somewhere when it hadn’t yet occurred to me. The Saurian hadn’t announced anything like that. I suppose he must have seen the air rippling around us and pieced it together before I did, and I found that somewhat disturbing. Was he smarter than me?
The Saurian just ignored him and used their thick, clumsy digits to make some very delicate twisting adjustments to the big red button while precariously allowing the gun to dangle loosely by its trigger. The weapon jiggled dangerously, and I was compelled to offer, “Could I… hold that for you?”
They snarled at me warningly.
I glanced at the gun, still dangling from one… digit? It was going to fire at any moment and there was no telling where the blast would go. I didn’t relish the thought of suddenly finding a hole in me. “…please…?”
They spat at me contemptuously, real spit, too, and continued twisting the button back and forth. From the office, I demanded, “What are you going to do with him?”
I was touched by the concern and was a little worried about it myself, but the Saurian continued to ignore him. They finished the adjustments and put their… thumb? back on the button.
“I’ll tell someone about this!” I threatened from the office. “I’ll tell the police! I’ll tell the Feds! I’ll tell everyone!”
“I’m sure they’ll believe you,” the Saurian muttered and pressed the button.
I guess in hindsight I could have tried to jump the Saurian before they pressed the button, but I didn’t think of it at the time, just like I hadn’t thought about a lot of things that I should have. Like how my duplicate could have been smarter than me even though we shared the exact same thoughts, or why I didn’t see it coming when he threated to call the police. I might have, if given time, but suddenly, space turned inside out and I was utterly alone in my thoughts once more. I’d never felt such utter isolation before. It was devastating! After having shared my mind and my soul with another me for a while, I finally realized the true meaning of being alone with my thoughts. Even the headache of thinking and speaking in stereo didn’t soften the blow of losing that other mind. That other experience. Or that other perspective.
Then, space unfolded and I was hit with excruciating agony.
I fell to my knees. It felt like my head was going to explode, and no matter how hard I pressed on my skull, it felt like my brain was going to burst out of it. And behind that agony, there was sorrow. Misery like I’d never felt before. Loss. Outrage. Bitterness. Hurt. Betrayal. Self-loathing. It bore down on me like a hydraulic press, crushing my spirit. It was much worse than any migraine I’d ever had.
“What are you doing?” I heard the Saurian’s demand through a haze of emotions, but I wasn’t in any condition to answer. I think I was gritting my teeth against the pain, but I could barely feel my own body anymore so I wasn’t sure. “Get up!
“Get up now!” But yelling at me louder wasn’t going to get me to obey. Somehow, I mustered enough energy to glance up at them, but I was no longer impressed by the sight of a gun pointed right at my head. I knew they weren’t going to fire. They needed me too much. Besides, the migraine might settle down a little if my head wasn’t there to contain it.
Then, I glimpsed the room just behind them and stared in disbelief. It looked exactly like the Ship’s console room but straight out of a nightmare. The familiar decor was mostly hidden behind a chaotic web of thick black cables, dully glowing optic fiber, blood red string lights, electrical boxes, and many other things that I couldn’t recognize running in all directions while a dull red light originating from the center of that web cast everything in deep shadows. And at the center of that nightmare web was the console itself, torn open like someone had taken a giant church key to it and left the jagged edges. The strands of the technological web all fed into the hole, and even though I had never seen its insides, I could tell that there was something terribly wrong with the parts of the interior left exposed. The red light throbbed from deep within it, and it looked like many of the things that were supposed to be there had been ripped out, replaced by ugly, oblong things that didn’t belong. My heart ached to see it. It looked like it was in agony.
“What have you done?” I poured all my anger into it, but all I could manage was a hoarse whisper. Somehow, I knew that the Saurian had no right to do what it did, even though I didn’t know what that was.
“Get up!” They weren’t in the mood to answer my question no matter how angrily tossed. “I don’t have time for this!”
“Make time!” I didn’t even care that I was in no position to make demands. I was fueled with a rage that I didn’t quite understand, but I knew was fully justified. “What did you do?
“What did you do?” I admit that I lost my temper, but shouting only left my throat raw. The Saurian merely rocked its head from side to side in a gesture that I took as a shrug.
“Like it? It took me hours to dig the plans out of the archives.” They were quite proud of themselves. “It’s a paradox bridge. It warps time, but I adapted it to accommodate my experiment.”
It was an abomination. It shrieked wrongness. It cried out in agony! It -!
…help me…
Yeah. I heard it. Even through the pressure on my brain, I heard that tiny voice begging for help. It sounded exactly like…
Ship?
…who…?
It was timid and frightened and in intense pain, but it sounded exactly like my friend. But it had no idea who I was.
I’m a friend. I had to start somewhere, so it might as well be on good footing. It was hard to think through my own agony, but I did the best I could.
…friend…?
I’d like to be. The pressure was intolerable. I had to hold it back with my hands. If I can.
…help…
Yes! I wasn’t sure how, but I couldn’t let it suffer anymore. How?
…hurts…!
I know. It sounded so much like Ship that I couldn’t let it down. I feel it, too.
…you…?
Long story. And one I didn’t have the energy to get into right then. First things first. How can I help?
…hurts… too much…!
There must be something -? Suddenly, I had a wild idea, something I was sure couldn’t work a second time, but I wasn’t really that bright anyway. Originality was rare in me.
…too… much…!
Give it to me. I figured that if Ship could form a mental bond with me, so could this one, and if Ship could share knowledge, then this one could share its pain. A burden shared sort of thing. It was probably a stupid idea, and doomed to fail, but it was all that I could come up with. Remember, not too big in the originality department.
…too… much…!
I know. I already figured out that I was feeling its pain and not my own. But that was only because it was radiating that agony. I wasn’t really sharing it yet. And that was probably because of the link that Ship had forged in me. I could feel its suffering while the Saurian couldn’t. And this ship was suffering badly. But I can manage it.
…too… much…!
The Saurian shoved me to the floor with its foot, shrieking, “I said, get up!”
It almost severed my connection with the ship. Almost. But our mental bond held, tenuously, while the Saurian, in a hissing fit, kicked me mercilessly around the floor in an attempt to bully me back to my feet. I blocked out what the Saurian was doing and concentrated on our bond, but it felt like I’d walked into the middle of a fist fight with no idea what I’d done to start it. Their kicks mixed with the nuclear reactor melting down in my head, making it hard to concentrate. I almost lost connection but somehow managed to hold onto it like my life depended upon it.
Just give it to me. I kept my mental voice calm and soothing despite the beating I was getting. I can take it.
…too…!
I know. But I’d had migraines before. I could manage them, like I was already managing this one. I don’t think the ship ever had anything like it, so it didn’t know how to deal with it. But it’ll help. Trust me.
…I…!
Please? I couldn’t stand the thought of the ship suffering anymore. I was even willing to take all its pain away if it would help. Stupid, I know, but I wasn’t really thinking it through at the time. Too much on my mind.
…okay…
My head turned inside out, and I saw things that no human should ever witness. And in that moment, I knew that I’d made a horrible mistake.
That was no migraine headache!
