Dear Larry,

I’m a little bothered. You know how I’ve always wanted to be a rich and famous author, like Rowling and Seuss? Well, I’m kind of afraid of doing that now, and I’ll tell you why. I’m afraid someone is going to take me too seriously.

Yeah, that’s right: too seriously. You know, like that Hubbard guy, the one that wrote a sci-fi story that got turned into a religion? You know my story is about the power of faith in making miracles and such; well, what’s going to happen if someone takes it too seriously? I mean, I don’t want to be the basis of a whole new religion! For one thing, I can’t take the responsibility! I can’t even weed the flower beds around my house, for crying out loud! How am I supposed to be idolized by millions of dedicated acolytes? That’s the kind of pressure I could do without.

I know what you’re thinking. Aren’t people smarter than that? Well, yes. Most people aren’t so easily taken in by glitz and glamor, but there are way too many gullible people out there who might be inadvertantly taken in by my smooth stylings and catchy prose, and I don’t want to be responsible for them. After all, they elected an adulterer and known liar to office just because he told them he was the only one that could help them out of their problems, even though he was, himself, a part of those same problems. Yes, I’m talking about the same people that believed horrible lies about an entire political party, including a vicious story about a non-existant child trafficing ring in an equally non-existant basement of a pizzeria, just because it fit into the biased narrative they had been hand-fed for decades by a network founded just to spread such lies. Sound far-fetched? Well, just remember, these same people would rather have elected a known and convicted child predator than someone from the rival party because of those lies; there are too many people that consistantly vote against their best interests in the name of political loyalty.

And, no, it’s not all about politics, though everything seems to be lately. Some people just want to believe whatever they want to despite the evidence in front of their eyes. It’s like that short story of the man who sat on his porch at sunset every day, staring at this huge barn in front of him. When someone finally asked him why he was staring at the barn, he asked, “What barn?” And, the barn disappeared, as if it was never there. It feels like some people are like that with this pandemic we now face, believing they can wish it away through faith alone. It doesn’t matter if loved ones die or they get sick themselves. They believe what they want to believe despite what the scientists tell them. You think I want my novel to fuel a similar mania?

You still think I’m being silly? Look at the people that think the election was rigged and that the President isn’t the President. They actually think the last moron is still in charge, even though he lost in a landslide. It’s funny how he put certain people in charge and told everyone it was going to be a secure election, but that the only way he was going to lose was if it was rigged. Which was it, anyway: rigged or secure? You think that anyone who followed that kind of two-faced “logic” wouldn’t read all sorts of things in my brilliant narrative?

Yeah, I have a lot of reservations about publishing my novel. If those things could happen in real life, just imagine what could happen next? Why, before you know it, an alleged sex trafficing legislator, who should be removed from office let alone every committee he’s on, will be allowed to remain on the committee overseeing the very department that is investigating him! Or a man that instigated an insurrectionist riot at the Capitol of this Democracy will remain at large without suffering the consequences of his action! Or, the only one in his party gutsy enough to stand up to him would get her position in leadership threatened just because she hurt his feelings!

Okay! Okay, I know. That last stuff was too crazy to be even remotely possible. Maybe I am just being too weird about things. Maybe I’m just under some strain from the writing process, or something. I don’t know. I guess all I can do is plug away at it and hope for the best. Hey, anyway, thanks for listening, Larry! You’re a good friend! Catch you later!

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

Dear Larry,

I didn’t think I’d ever write to you at all, to be honest, but things have come up lately that I have to get off my chest. I hope you don’t mind being my sounding board for a while.

Well, those pesky Elves are back. You know, the Elf on a Shelf (TM.) sort? Yeah, them! They’re back, and making mischief! First day in the house, and they’ve made a mess! They got out all sorts of cookie cutters and threw flour everywhere, even on themselves! The only thing they did right was they’re wearing masks; you know, for Covid? Yeah. At least, they’re taking this pandemic seriously! I’ll try to get a picture to show you what I’m talking about.

Anyway, they aren’t all that’s bothering me. The writing’s been going slow. Yeah, I’m on Chapter Nineteen, but it’s still the first draft, and it’s taken so long to get this far! I can’t imagine how long the rewrite’s going to last! The good side is I’m already thinking of ways to improve the story in the early chapters, and how to add more depth to the characters. So, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Granted, that light is a little pinpoint in the very far distance, but it’s there. I just hope I live long enough to finish the book and try to get it published. I fear I’ll die of old age long before then.

Speaking of publishing, that’s another worry. What if it’s not good enough? What if no publisher would touch it? Should I self-publish? That last part scares me more than the thought of rejection. I can’t afford to self-publish! I’ve spoken to a rep from a self-publishing website, and she tells me what they can do for me, and it sounds tempting. But I can’t help but feel like it’s a scam of some sort. They sent me material to look over, which I still haven’t done, and I have to wonder if a scammer would go to that kind of trouble or not, just for my money. The packages they offer top a thousand dollars a pop, but they offer editing and cover artists for the higher end ones. But I don’t want to have to promote and sell my own books, and I don’t want a garage full of copies that I don’t know what to do with.Maybe I should read the stuff she sent me. Or, maybe I should explore that Amazon publishing more. That’s another route I’ve just discovered. I wonder if that’s the route to take or not? They say an author has to expect to get rejected a lot before their first publication, and that book might not be the first one they’ve written. I’ve written only one book so far, and its taken five years to do it! I’m getting so tired of the constant uphill battle! I can’t stop writing, though! That’s an opiate that I can’t give up! It feels weird if I don’t at least try to get a few pages written in the morning! So, I can’t abandon the book and return to “real life”. But the thought of doing this again, for another five or more years, just to get a few books written in the hopes someone likes one of them, is pretty daunting! Do I even have that many stories in me? How do other authors do it?

I’m lucky if I have two or three hours in the morning to get anything written. And that assumes that the tablet’s power holds out. I have one tablet that actually works for writing the book, and that’s it. The others are crap at it. Oh, they have their uses, but writing with precision isn’t it. The one I’m using for this missive has a lousy keyboard that mistypes constantly, making me have to backtrack to take out extra letters, seperate words, and add the letters it misses. It’s too frustrating to do that and concentrate on story-telling, so I use it for this kind of thing, and for Minecraft (TM). And YouTube (TM). That’s about it. Anyway, if it isn’t the tablet or the keyboard running out of power, then its the kids needing help with schoolwork, or time to make lunch, or household chores, or laundry, or whatever other crises emerge during a typical day. And after the kids go to sleep, I’m lucky to have the chance and the energy to watch Colbert before dragging myself to bed! This sucks! It’s definitely not what I signed up for!

Anyway, I have to go, because I’ve burned up the little time to myself I had this morning, and I have to make lunch. So, good-bye for now. Hopefully, I won’t have to bother you again.